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A brief history though. The Polaris is a $20 000 prize for a full length Canadian album, judged solely on artistic merit, without regard to genre or record sales. A long list of nominees is tabulated from 150 nominating parties across Canada, then long list is then narrowed down to a handful of nominees. This short list performs at the ceremony, while an executive jury of music aficionado’s votes on the final winner. Now…reread that. Doesn’t that sound how an award recognizing art and artists ought to be? How about the Juno’s? What’s their story?

 

Well, first of all, you have to pay to submit a nomination (not so with Polaris). In almost all of the main general categories, such as Album of the Year or Artist of the Year, nominees are determined by sales; in genre-specific categories, they are determined by panel (from CARAS – Canadian Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences). Let me say this also about the so called panel. It’s not exactly “experts” with dramatic industry cred. In fact, Lysten Media is a voting member of CARAS. This dramatically impacts our own credibility, but I do this for a reason. For fifty bucks and a trip to the CARAS website, Lysten Media became a voting member of...The Juno Awards (actually, a trip to the site will also inform you that CARAS exists solely for the purpose of the awards – not a money grab at all). So, with that sort of format, which do you think truly represents artistic merit and integrity? It’s pretty obvious right?

 

 

Anyone who has read me, talked to me, or is half intelligent knows the Juno’s are a huge crock of crap and a waste of the music fan’s money and time. The Juno’s, quite frankly, are a joke. If anyone outside of Canada were to watch this show, and honestly believe that THIS is the extent of our musical ability, we would, as a country, be mocked. They are an insult to Canadians and a disservice to those in the industry that don’t suck, which frankly is almost everyone NOT nominated. Whoever sits on the panel looking after the nominees, should resign in shame. This awards ceremony has no relevance. Is there not one forward thinking person involved with this farce that can stand up and say, “Hey, you know, we have an awful lot of talent we aren’t properly displaying or acknowledging, maybe we should rethink how we do this”? I suppose not. It takes a set of balls to walk separate from the pack. When it comes to something like this, money talks and true art is ignored. Maybe Harper is right after all, in that no one cares about the arts and culture in this country, because no way does Nicklefuckinback count as either. That anyone on the outside looking in would think this is a representation of what Canada has to offer musically…it depresses me.

 

 

Year after year we fail to celebrate the quality this country continues to produce. No, instead we (God, not “we;” I have nothing to do with this shit...quite yet – but trust me, you will be with me every step of the way for the next awards session), reward the same crap artists for continuing their unremarkable, indifferent, generic careers. Celine Dion, Hedley, Bryan Adams (he’s still ALIVE??), NickelFUCKINGback! THEY lead the nominations with 5 (for 2008)! Are you kidding me? Sorry. I need to calm down. I just can’t believe someone out there thinks those sacks of shite are worth considering as THE Canadian album of the year. I have to give some credit however: in 2008, The Stills, Sam Roberts, Tokyo Police Club, and Fiest were worthy of nominations. So were Plants and Animals, Crystal Castles, and Sloan. My anger and frustration really comes from the lack of acknowledgement so many other bands experience. Why do we have to stick so much quality in one small category, Chad VanGaalen and Black Mountain get some respect in the “Alternative” Album of the Year. But Wolf Parade, The Constantines, The Weakerthans: too bad, so sad. Michael Buble is apparently better than you. Sorry Stars, Caribou, and The Dears, we prefer kd Lang. 

 

So often I hear about how we as Canadians lack a national identity, but this sort of opportunity to embrace our wonderful, rich artistic culture is wasted. As a proud, Canadian music lover, I feel that this opportunity to showcase the lesser known talent is ignored. Where is Miracle Fortress, Sunset Rubdown, The New Pornographers, Young Galaxy. Is Nickleback, Celion Dion or Michel Buble all we want to be known for? It’s a shame that we ignore the talent that is flooding out of this country, and no wonder talented artists feel they need to leave this country to try elsewhere. The strength of this country is in our thriving “indie” (I hate that word, but I’m using it to reference the sound) scene. So why would our “national” award system for music not recognize that and adapt in order to better represent what we have to show off ? I’m going to go throw a nickel in my toilet, and uh…well, you can figure out the rest, but I had chilli for dinner.

 

 Anyways, I’m going back to my igloo to watch hockey and drink beer. Might as well fit the stereotype.

 

*For the sake of this article all references relate to both the 2007 and 2008 Juno

Awards, but my anger and hate on is eternal*